EAT MY SHORTS!

For those of you who have taken some time to get to know me, you'll attest to the fact that my music taste is quite "out there". You finding me jamming to Nickleback or P!nk will never happen, but i decided to write this note after many months of raging over the fact that the new generation of "hipsters" have emerged with this disgusting vibe of self entitlement and act in a vainglorious manner. All I've been hearing lately is people bragging about the "indie and obscure" music that they listen to..in what i think to be a pathetic attempt to impress others (my favorite being "well i liked OLD Kings of Leon"). These are the types of conversations i am overhearing:
Normal person/true hipster - "So what kind of music do you listen to?
Dumb person/fake wannabe hipster - "oh you wouldnt know the stuff i listen to"
Normal person/true hipster - "*smirks*.."alright"..*laughs at the sad little wannabe*"
^What do you think you're accomplishing sad little wannabe? By INSINUATING that you're music taste is too obscure for ANYONE else but you to know, you not only look like a sad little wannabe, but you're making yourself THAT much more UNORIGINAL.
Another version of the above conversation you hear is the following:
Person 1 - "what kind of music do you listen to?"
DP/FWH - " *raises chin/sticks out chest* and/or *looks down into their copy of "the clockwork orange" or "cather in the rye" (which they havent read) and say "The Beatles, Death Cab for Cutie, The Cure, Modest Mouse, Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, and The Smiths"
^My rant about that conversation may be a little long...but here goes. Okay, so OF COURSE you had to name one of Conor Obersts projects, but what really gets me is that they always mention Nick Drake..always..as if ND is some passageway into indieness..they have to name the beatles which makes them SO unindie because even the most mainstream artists attribute some form of inspiration to the beatles. Another thing that i chuckle at..is the mentioning of The Smiths. The Smiths are another band that DP/FWHs mention because they think it paves the way to their being accepted by NP/THs, but really theyve never listened to a song by The Smiths in their life..and if you ask them "what smiths songs do you like?", they say "this charming man" because its a song Death Cab covered which makes it their only reason for knowing the smiths exist...OR theyve heard a few songs by them recently because Zooey Deschanel's character in "500 days of summer" listened to them.
I've gotten to a point where i realize these sad little people just need to grow up and realize that theyre trend followers and not setters..and then maybe humble themselves and change a little, and im less bothered now about the music snobbery as i am about them trying to keep things secret/for themselves. OHHH so youve found a movie theatre or a record store that you love or an artist and think you discovered it and no one else should know about...well EAT MY SHORTS cause you sound like an idiot and we all probably grew up in/around the places you think are so quaint and unknown while you were listening to simple plan and cutting yourself. Who do you think you are trying to keep things to yourself? If you love something, share it with the world...
NOT to mention that if people dont know about these places, theyll go out of business and youll lose them forever.
So to all the wannabes out there...pick up your fedora, your vintage suitcase filled with vinyl and your copy of War&Peace(in russian), skip out to your local Starbucks and sit and ponder over life while sipping on you grande non fat caramel macchiato with an extra shot of espresso(because your life is THAT difficult) and hopefully in a few years youll come to the conclusion (as we all have) that you look stupid.

See you then.