It seems like no matter what you do with this type of person, it is never good enough. Whether you’re eating out, watching a movie or swimming at your favorite swimming spot, there is always something to complain about for these people who’ve either “had better” or whose standards are “higher than yours”. Now I understand that there are probably many people who have higher standards than I do, and most likely they HAVE had better, but I don’t believe that you necessarily need to voice that opinion, nor is it necessary to loudly compare things you’re having now to things you have had. To be fully honest, I am fairly opinionated, as you can tell just from the fact that im writing this blog; but I grasp the concept that there is being opinionated and keeping those opinions to yourself and then there is snobbery, which involves voicing those opinions loudly in order to make others feel bad about themselves.
Maybe it just makes them feel better about themselves, or maybe they are so deluded as to think that on the broad scale, where others feelings largely do not matter, that they will have the highest chance of being heard by other by being obnoxious jerks who cant keep their mouths shut. Often times these opinionated people don’t need opportunities to complain about something, they can just find an excuse to criticize how you do things or live your life. They are usually unhappy with their own lives and try to improve the way they feel by nit picking on everything they can find fault in. Some even rehearse rants about one of their opinions and then wait for someone to fall into the trap of hearing it.
Here are the things I dislike about these overly opinionated types.
When you meet one of these types of people, they may give off a vibe that they are some worldly and wise expert on every subject and you should be clinging to every word that leaves their lips…but in reality, if you look closely, these people really are living hilariously pathetic lives and have imagined this impressive perception of themselves. They want you to think they go to all the best parties, have a million friends, eat at the best and most expensive restaurants, stay at the best hotels and resorts, where as in reality, this is the world they have imagined for themselves. Another thing that bothers me is that they cant seem to differentiate between their own opinions and fact. Opinions are developed from your own personal point of view and from where you stand on a matter, vs. fact, which is established irrefutable truth. The world is full of different opinions because everybody’s personalities are different . If you put 5 or 10 different people in a room and have them look at a painting or a sculpture, you’re going to get 5 or 10 different opinions. It seems to me that the overly opinionated folks don’t understand that about the world, and that’s where the delusional reasoning comes in. they can tell you all you want that what you’re doing is wrong, or you’re wrong for liking something they don’t, but really, they’re just so self absorbed that they cant fathom anyone disagreeing with them.
They can put on that face (you know the one I mean, the face that makes them look aloof and as if they have something of importance to say) and say “Listen to the importance or the important thing im going to tell you because its important for you to hear the important thing of importance, aren’t I important?”, and they WANT you to think that you need to listen to them. They want you to hang on to every syllable that leaves their mouth..but it ends up being gibberish anyways. They’re just so conceited that they think that the judgement they’ve made about you or what they’re focussed on is worth listening to. Its not. They seem to demand respect that they have not earned.
As far as im concerned, I turn to those having lived a life full of experience for advice. I want to hear the opinions of those who are wise and have dealt with the issues I am facing at some point, not the opinions of someone who has no life experience but still demands that I treat them as if they’ve earned a position of respect.
With the opinions, comes a sort of tyranny as well. They like to control, EVERYTHING! They will ultimately try to define your reality. You say it is black, and they will say it is white. They become frustrated with normal conversation if its not going as they plan. They assume that they the understand how you think or they’ve the right to advise you, when in fact they don’t know how you think and when they realize that their constructed image of you is at odds with what you say or think, they sulk…and beware of the sulky ones, the moody personality is a give away because they’re usually unhappy with their lot in life and try to improve it by controlling you. When you disagree with them or don't do exactly what they want you to do, in their minds, you are challenging their authority over you and they take a temper tantrum or guilt trip you.
Think about this…have you ever planned something fun for a group of people and invite a person along, but when you extend the invite there surfaced multiple problems? They didn’t want to see the movie you planned to watch, or the sushi place isn’t the one they usually go to, or they need you to wait around for an hour while they run errands before you all can leave, so you end up missing your reservation and eating somewhere they like and watching a movie you never wanted to see. Have you ever had that happen? Because I have…and a prime example of an encounter with a controlling and opinionated person. They are a selfish and greedy type of person. They’re always wanting the focus on them, and they would rather loudly exclaim their stand on a matter than go with the flow or sacrifice for the majority. Have you noticed that these people will NEVER pay you a compliment either? No matter how good you look, or how well you do something, they are fully incapable of commending you. They do not want you to feel good about yourself because it may take control and attention away from them, and compliments, when given, are backhanded and actually point out some flaw or defect in you. Rarely do they have close friends, and rarely are they friends with others who are more attractive, intelligent, or well-liked than themselves. They tend to be jealous of popular, successful people, and will criticize those held in high-regard by others because, really, that who they aspire to be. Sometimes a controlling person will try to cause trouble between you and your friends or other relationships. This is in order to isolate you from others, and to make you turn to them for everything you need. They like to be relied on and they often try to use fear to control you and alter your current relationships with people. They might make up a lot of stories that will scare you, and if you don't believe them or give in to the fear, they will try to persuade you however they possibly can that whatever they are saying is true. They will try to push this fear on you, and want you to believe it. Most people who are controlling or opinionated always throw into the argument the words, "you are the problem", or "you have a problem.", or “do you know what your problem is”? They always seem to have difficulty dealing with problems objectively and will manipulate the conversation to blame others when their own mistakes are pointed out. Nothing is ever their fault, and they will demean or criticize you as a means of building themselves up and appearing superior and in control, or, they will attempt to use generosity as a way to control you, so that you always feel like you owe them something. They then use that obligation you feel towards them to control you.
If any of that stuff sounded familiar to you, then my sympathies are with you.
Hopefully someday they will snap out of it and when they actually get some life experience, they will look as I do at those similar to them. Because I don't know if I can hear much more of the "oh IIII'VE had better pasta when I was sitting in a vineyard in Italy" or "this tea is not bad but III'VE had better when I was in China and some monk made me tea as I was staring out into the forest watching pandas play".
Now, I've never actually heard anyone say they went to Italy or China and did that, but my point is that there will always be some place where you can find the best of whatever it is your eating, and there are probably better places to watch movies and do the things you love, but you can keep it to yourself because the rest of us are having a good time with what we have at this moment. For now, thanks for your not so educated opinion...now SHUT UP!
Until next time, I hope ive given you something to think about, or something to make you smile or go “hmm”.
Signed,
Me
